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Archive for June, 2009

Introducing…

My new nephew, Oliver Tristan, was born on Tuesday morning, weighing 8 lbs., 11.2 ounces.

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Flying

I have been flying all over the place lately. Flying used to be terribly exciting, but it has sort of disintegrated into a “means of travel” for me. That doesn’t mean that my flights have been uneventful, however. I thought that I should share a couple of the things I have encountered.

1. Do you speak English?
I chose the window seat because I didn’t know that I would have to get up. But I REALLY had to get up. There were two seats next to me; in the middle sat a lady, and in the aisle seat sat her son (I think). From what I could figure, they were from India, and I am not sure if they spoke English or not. I was not wearing a watch, and of course, my cell phone was off, so I did not know what time it was. We had been flying for quite some time, and as I said, I REALLY needed to get up and use the restroom. I figured that I would just hold out and wait until we arrived. Then, the pilot announced what time we would land, and I saw from the watch on the lady next to me that it would be another hour. I couldn’t wait that long. So, I meekly asked the woman if I could get out for a minute. She gave me a blank stare. I wasn’t sure if she spoke English, but I apologized profusely to her and her son, and eventually they let me out. They didn’t speak a word, though. When I got back, she was standing up in the aisle, and let me back in again. Once more, I apologized profusely and thanked them, but they didn’t say a word.

2. A Penny!
I was sitting in the aisle seat, and a steward walked by. He noticed a penny on the floor, and said something to the extent of, “Hey! A Penny! Do you want a penny?” I took it and slipped it into the front pocket of my backpack.

3. Where does a bird go to cash his check?
On my flight into Burbank, the little girls in front of me were fairly animated. They made up this joke: “Where does a bird go to cash his check?” “To a bird bank!” Ha. Wow.

4. Southwest Glares
Southwest Airlines does not assign seats. You get a letter (A-C) and a number (1-….something) when you check in. You can check in online up to twenty-four hours before your flight. When they board the plane, you line up by letter and number (“Now boarding letter A, numbers 1-30,” etc.); thus, the early bird catches the worm. Usually, you hear someone say, “It doesn’t really matter!” when people get confused. Deep down, though, it must matter, because when someone is in the wrong place, you see the “Southwest Glare” from other passengers. It means, “I stayed home from my granddaughter’s ballet recital to print this boarding pass, and I am going to be the 27th person on this flight or else!”

5. Feet
I was calmly sitting in my seat on a plane when lo and behold, The Foot popped out at me under my seat. I wasn’t sure if it was a boy foot or a girl foot, but it was a bare foot in a sandal, which just isn’t nice to see that close. I adjusted so that I wasn’t touching The Foot, and the flight continued. A few minutes later, The Foot appeared again, only this time, it was to my right, where my right hand would be if I relaxed it. This time, I noticed that it really wasn’t a very nice foot; however, I would point out that no foot is really a nice foot unless it is under age four.

I could think of more stories, but The Foot tops them all, and I learned in English class that you are supposed to order things like that from worst to best. Therefore, this is the end.

The End.

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I’m Off Again!

http://aimee-weaver.blogspot.com/2009/04/funny-flight-rap.html

I’m leaving again. I hope I get that guy for my flight attendant.

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Wedding Shower

Wedding Shower

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